Sneaky Ways We Say “No” In Scenes

It’s one of the very first things you learn in your very first improv class - say “Yes!”.

It’s such a huge and powerful skill, and one that we have to learn immediately, because our gut wants to say “No”. But why? 

Here’s some quick reasons I think we say “No” in scenes:

• It feels safer - by refusing the offer it means we won’t risk looking silly.
• It feels high status - and being high status makes us feel less likely to embarrass ourselves.
• It makes us feel in control - saying “No” feels like you’re in charge, saying “Yes” feels like giving in to the unknown.
• It feels ‘funny’ - “No” feels like conflict, contrast, and tension. It feels like ‘friction’, which can feel synonymous with ‘comedy’.

We want to feel safe, but improv requires us to take steps into the unknown. Saying “No” stalls momentum, whereas saying “Yes” is a positive creative force that gets us places! It’s scary, but it’s rewarding.

So we dutifully start saying “Yes” and then we move on to more lessons about improv.

But, here’s my big watch-out: We need to constantly revisit saying “Yes” as we learn more. Because, as we get more and more comfortable improvising on stage, we can find more and more elaborate (see ‘sneaky’) ways of making it sound like we’re saying “Yes”, whilst actually still saying “No”.

Saying “No” When You Start Out

When you start out in improv, the “No’s” are really obvious. They’re a disagreement with the fundamentals of the scene. The reality of the world is denied.

“Wow, that must be Everest!”
“No, that’s not Everest that’s just a hill.”

“Are you my taxi driver?”
“No, I’m picking up my mum from the supermarket.”

“Welcome to my bakery, would you like a free sample?”
“No, this isn’t a bakery, this is my dog grooming parlour... and you’re late!”

The risk here is of course that the “No’s” get laughs. So you also have to learn that going for these laughs are unhelpful - they’re ‘short-term’ laughs at the expense of the ‘long-term’ scene. Saying “Yes” starts building the world for your characters.

Saying “No” When You’ve Been Improvising A While

This is where our “No’s” are sneakier. We want to say “No” so much that we find clever ways to smuggle it through disguised as a “Yes”. They’re often most clearly seen as “Yes, buts...” when what we want is “Yes ands...”

“Wow, that must be Everest!”
“Yes, but we’re lost, we’re going to die out here.”

“Are you my taxi driver?”
“Yeah, I’m on lunch though. So you’ll have to wait until I’m done.”

“Welcome to my bakery, would you like a free sample?”
“I’m actually allergic to bread.”

Do these tank the scene? Not necessarily, you could still turn these into scenes, but they’re starting with a rejection of the initial offer. And even when you make them work, they’re just a little harder, a little less joyful, a little less fun. They’re a problem dressed up as a “Yes”.

They’re also, again, trying to inject a ‘funny’ friction to the scene that isn’t needed. We’re reverting back to wanting ‘short-term’ laughs, rather than a ‘long-term’ scene.

Side note: Do all characters have to agree? Of course not! But we’re talking about the tops of your scenes here. Before we’ve even established anything else, we want to agree on the first building blocks.

Be Kind To Your Defensiveness

It’s scary to go with the unknown. As human beings, we all have defensive instincts, plus a lifetime of justified reasons why we’ve built them up, and it takes effort to unlearn that.

When you start out in improv, it’s all scary. It’s a big leap to say “yes” that first time - it’s out of your comfort zone. The risk is that the more you improvise, the more your comfort zone expands, and then you find ways to not want to step out of your new expanded comfort zone.

The solution is to try and notice yourself saying “No”. Keep an eye out when you feel the urge to reject things in ‘sneaky’ ways, especially if you notice yourself doing it to try and get a laugh. Challenge yourself to be ok with being scared again, of embracing the unknown again.

Getting back in the habit of saying “Yes” is where you’re going to see the most benefit to your performance.